Tuesday

 
 April 1, 2017
NYYM Announces 2017 Annual Sessions Plenary Speaker!

Oakwood Friends School Alumnus
Former NPR, and current Fox News Contributor


Juan Williams

Plenary Message to Friends:  

You’re All Leftists!

A handful of NYYM Friends will drive from all over creation, waste gas, pollute the air, and reconvene in Summer Sessions after an eternity of not meeting since Spring Sessions.

Select Yearly Meeting Friends will once again meet at Annual Sessions, Silver Bay, New York


better known as:

Ridiculous Publicly Pious Cheap Vacation
at Lake George in the Adirondacks

When reached for comment the outgoing NYYM General Secretary, himself a highly paid minister and ‘rock star’ said, “Of course we’re all leftists, but what Juan will emphasize is that some like me and those who kept me here at such a high salary are the left-elite, as opposed to the garden left winger losers that love stand up in meeting and hear themselves rant.”

This year’s theme of workshops, discussions, and lectures handed down to us by the central office staff and central politburo hierarchy that enables them - we’re going to finally and forcefully come to consensus that we are all leftists!





Although Juan’s two sons work for the Republican Party, and he himself is considering joining the G.O.P., Juan is a Friends School graduate and we owe him our ears this summer as he gives us wings, especially those left wings, on our way in a spiral straight to Quaker heaven!

 
NYYM Spiritual Workshops


Friends will work on a minute that RSoF is no longer religious or spiritual.  It is and has been for decades – highly political.  You are not wanted as a Friend if you are not ultra-liberal, left, and elite, preferably a clean profession like lawyer or doctor, not a dirty proletariat news stand owner, cab driver or construction worker.



Many Friends have turned to Yoga to complement, even substitute a more sane spiritual life for that of irrelevant, absurdist Friends business meetings.  

An offshoot of Yoga - Laughter Yoga - will be embraced this summer a means of dealing with the President Donald Trump election and both houses of Congress now in Republican hands!  

Practice this chant at home, trying as hard as you can to belly laugh after each verse.  It will somehow not be so piquant this summer after hand wringing

Trump’s the President, ha, ha, ha
Hillary was unlikeable and didn’t show up, hey, ho, hey
She lost, after an organized campaign to undermine Bernie, ha, ha, ha
Obamacare’s history, but maybe I’ll have affordable health insurance ha, ha, ha
Another conservative Supreme Court justice, hey, ho, ho


So long government funded news and railroad,
PBS, NPR, AMTRAK buh-bye
Rosie O’Donnel and Rachel Maddow stuff a sock in it, ho, ho, ho
Planned Parenthood government funding, remember Acorn, Si-O-nara
Take a hike career bureaucrats in the EPA, State Department, ha, ha, ha
Andrew Breitbart is smiling down on us, hey ho, hey



 
Renaming Workshops


Forget the silly sexual pronoun renaming hand wringing other liberal societies will participate in this summer.  NYYM as a religion of “no” will stretch to try a minute to the world which no one will ultimately listen on our protest of the negative connotation of “left” in literature and in public speech. 

The negative meaning of “Left”

We’ll discern our feelings for the structural bias against things ‘left’ in formal and colloquial writing and speech.

  • Hurry up or you’ll be left out!
  • Where did you get that idea, out in left field?
  • See the world, or what’s left of it.
  • What’s for dinner, honey? Sorry, leftovers.
  • We were on our way to the horizon of happiness and mental health when suddenly we made a hard left turn into crazy town.


Even our more elite hyper educated Friends know we can go all the way back to a foundation of English with the French word “Gauche”.  Notice how its usage is inherently ridiculous of the left?  Clumsy, oafish, dense.

The world has to know what Friends stand for, and that is “left” and “no”.  Like a two-year-old who wants to have her (or even better, someone else’s) cake and eat it too.

“Left” is our witness to the world!



 
Removal and Renaming of RSWR

Will now be…. you guessed it:


Formerly located in the conservative leaning state of Indiana, home of our Vice-President, the RSWR will be renamed and removed to the bluest of blue state and city … you guessed it:

Left Sharing of World Resources
Union Square
NYYM Offices,
15 Rutherford Place
New York City, NY 10003

It was a tough choice, indeed Philadelphia Quaker bureaucrat central (some call it Philthy-delphia) the hardscrabble and miserable, closed-shop union armpit hell-hole 80 miles south of NYC, was in close contention, if ever a true Quaker could contend.

 
NYYM proposes - A Socialist Revolution at the AFSC


The American Friends Service Committee has effectively eliminated ‘Service’ as even part of its mission, let alone the core of its mission.  What with a closed-shop employee union dictating to the Board who can and can’t volunteer for the historic ‘service’ projects, Friends have come to the consensus that the acronym - AFSC - can still be so, but will now be renamed according to its new mission – left-wing political agitation

Nowhere in the AFSC Mission or Vision on it’s website, that means in 336 words describing what AFSC is and stands for, there is a use of the word ‘service’.



We hereby announce that NYYM will be sending its delegates to the politburo in Philadelphia to seek renaming as:

The American Friends Socialist Committee

Finally Friends have come home.

 
Renaming of a Monthly Meeting – Housatonic Meeting becomes….


The Quakers:  The lights are on but nobody's home!



Since there are so many small Meetings (groups of Friends) within New York, North New Jersey and Southwestern Connecticut, the weighty Friends of Silver Bay, or the Politburo, have arbitrarily decided that the satellite groups that supposedly give a mandate to the statewide body, are really simply satellites in the manner of the former USSR, and take dictation top – down.

Following that faux-elitist philosophy - A Simple Faith, a Radical Witness – as in radical socialist political action fits in to how Monthly Meetings or the country local churches like Housatonic grow weaker and weaker and the urban meetings with the urbane and hyper literate trust fund ne’er do wells, the layabouts, and the malcontents, like in Brooklyn, New York, or churches especially the central hierarchy, called the statewide – Yearly Meeting, at 15 Rutherford Place, New York, New York and Silver Bay, New York - grow stronger and stronger.

The new name of Housatonic Meeting:



A Horse and a Dog Meeting

 
Annual Sessions Closing Query


Should we have “settled for Hillary”?


Jesse Watters, graduate of William Penn Charter School,
the Oldest Quaker school in the world

Now a humorist and contributor to Fox News!



Jesse Watters will address our heartfelt pain as Bernie Sanders lost to arguably-hateable-Hillary last summer and then Hillary lost to hard-working Donald J. Trump in November 2016.  We’ll meditate on Boo hoo, in  a period of rapt silence after Jesse gives us his trademark wink and a smirk !



Sunday

 

Keynote Speaker – 2012 New York Yearly Meeting Annual Sessions

April 1, 2012
John Bolton – Former United States Diplomat to the United Nations

“You Quakers watch out or you’ll turn into a bunch of irrelevant left-elite parlor fakes.”

“Why don’t you dwindling bunch of Quakers focus on your own internal issues instead of on ambient concerns with which you have no business?”

Don’t fiery conservatives ask the darnedest questions?

Just as the astute workingman philosopher Eric Hoffer observed - when some one or group can’t mind their own business - they mind others’.

In keeping with that theme, the NYYM Summer 2012 Annual Sessions is when we’ll discuss what ARTISTS and Parlor Fakes have in common in the topic- Quakers and THE ARTS.

And we’re inviting a famous leader - John Bolton - fiery and conservative - to wake us up to this sad State of the Society. 

The well-known Friend, John Punshon once said, “The Friends were once a sustaining class but are now a sustained class”. Just like the ARTISTS of days of yore, they were sustained and patronized by the royal elite.  (And guess what, now they’re patronized by the same affluent elite, if not also by the government elite)

Friends who attend 2012 Annual Sessions might just come to the sad conclusion that QUAKERS and THE ARTS, perfectly describes the self-evident state of affairs of a sustained society of parlor fakes.

In the late 20th Century, New York Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends drove out true and honest Friends and now strives to become an amalgam of failed artists, pining for handouts from the wealthy benefactors or state agencies within the overweight and unresponsive government. 

Quakers are now proudly the doodlers, the scribblers, the perennial students, the malcontents, the lay-abouts, the ne’re-do-wells, not-for-profit elitists, and the vain modern-day salon communists. But now Friends are planning a turnaround in membership decline – by inviting humble people of all opinions into their midst - no matter what color their skin - nor if they have to sweat for a living. 

We’ll consider alternatives to our modern reliance on overpaid, lifetime ministers who have been under the impression for years – that they’re better than you.  You may ask yourself:   

Why on earth does the world need another hypocritical hierarchal organized religion in freefall membership decline? 

It’s an open secret the Quakers only want you (to join in the tanking membership) if you are employed in some sort of cloistered ‘higher’ educational or ‘artist’ career, preferably by a college - any will do - or even better, by some haughty Friends School. 

So we’ll dedicate our full week of worship and activities this coming summer to that of ‘Quakers and THE ARTS’.

Tuesday

 

THEART of QUAKERISM

New York Yearly Meeting (NYYM) of the Religious Society of Friends (Quaker) has announced its theme for the 2012 Annual Sessions

The ART of Quakerism

Now that NYYM Quakers produce little of use to others - NEW YORK YEARLY MEETING Annual Sessions at the glorious resort Silver Bay on Lake George 2012 will prepare Friends for the goal of one day producing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING – and how to live off the tax rolls, send us back to the good old days of feudalism, and pine for handouts through patronage by the ruling class – THROUGH THE ARTS !

ARTS and worldly CULTURE are now somehow closely interlinked in Quakerism and we’ll delve deeply into what this means today. Quakers now utilize the Multi-Culturalism self-description, in trying to ‘diversify’ unity. And the culture war, of the 1960s already won amongst Friends, means anyone who isn’t down with big Yearly Meeting budgets, and subsequent patronage by the ruling class of Yearly Meeting and Friends School paid priests, and hollowed out Monthly Meetings, isn’t welcome.

Multi-Culturalism is, by-the-way, simply, code for Multi-Socialism. It’s OK to be a Quaker as long as you think like us and are one shade or another of Socialist. Just like we were once curious and open to other faiths and how they might strengthen our Quaker Faith, we’ve now been inclined to water down what was once a unique Christian faith, by bringing political philosophy into our inner world – we’ve now embraced all the Communist proponents - Maoists, Stalinists, Leninists, Marxists, and Trotskyites . You can be any kind of leftist as long as you are down with some variation of the central committee ruling top-down over those who can’t govern themselves from the grass roots – bottom up.

Quakers now inhabit the higher and higher education professions as professors – in the ivory towers of elitist academia, striving to be the same paid ministers that the founder of the Friends in the Truth, George Fox, railed against 350 years ago.

Now, ARTISTS are poised to take over as the ‘highest’ form of hipper worshipper in Friends Society while the membership of the current day Religious Society of Friends - tanks. Isn’t it more narcissistic to be a big fish in a small and dwindling pool of co-opted political activists which hypocritically invokes its righteousness solely from historic Quaker integrity?

Wouldn’t it be harder to manage a true and steady growth of truly convinced living Friends who live their decentralized faith in their daily lives without drawing a lot of attention to themselves?

Isn’t it more difficult to actually practice what you preach through producing something useful for others? (maybe that is the true meaning of ‘service’)

Various urban Monthly Meetings now have ARTS Committees and frequently meet, to talk and do nothing, and celebrate themselves while they waste our most precious resource - time. We now give thoughtfulness to idleness, and this year NYYM will insert yet another gimmick theme in its recent history of thinly-veiled vacation annual sessions.

NYYM Annual Sessions will be devoted to the story of how the weightiest NYYM Quakers are truly better than you, and because of that, are entitled to just be… and be useless. The Friends have taken refuge in the fantasy, produces-nothing world of The ARTS.

Trying haplessly to follow the real beatnik - the ‘gone cats’ of the 20th Century Beat Generation - the dying NYYM Friends of the 21st Century, shepherded by the 60s hippie generation elders, somehow don’t really ‘get’ the ‘gone’ – and have instead blasted off into the stratosphere, circling the hemisphere of left-wing politics in an endless quest for the lofty and never-reachable goals of ‘social justice’ and a free lunch.

 

The CULINARY ARTS –

hosted by the Financial Services Committee

Part 1

THE ART OF COOKING (The Books)

Part 2

The ART OF FEEDING (The Beast)

After a hard day of wringing our hands over how to fund what Friends will always approve but will never pay for, the frustrated Financial Services Committee will discuss how to relieve their stress in The Art of Cooking: The Books.

Because without cooking the books, we can’t practice The Art of Feeding the Beast.

We’ll discuss how to divert discussion at all levels local and statewide, and hijack the moral high ground by calling never-ending, increasing spending on a larger and larger central Quaker government - the only true compassionate option. Because excessive spending equals excessive compassion – no?

What is important, Friends, is that we can affect connoisseurship of The ARTS and every other thing in our ambient surroundings, except what is actually at the heart of us.

We know that big budgets, fibs and deception, programs that don’t work, and waste and theft, create a more interesting world. It creates a world celebrating a few rock star paid ministers, instead of a Friends Society where no one is looking to be celebrated. The left wing lifestyle keeps us on our toes, always guessing at which committee we should be on to bring the most resources and recognition to ourselves. What is, and what isn’t true doesn’t really matter anymore. Truth is kind of like producing something useful and meaningful - lies and deception inversely produce nothing useful. No?

Lies and deception ARE more fun, and ‘Cooking the Books’ and ‘Feeding that Beast’ is more interesting than the stick-in-the-mud truthful disclosure about the true falling-off-a-cliff membership decline, and how much the lifetime professional ministers are truly (over) compensated.

“Cooking the Books”, a euphemism for the drier term, misappropriation, and is what has to happen behind closed doors to allow NYYM continue to overpay salaries. And New York Yearly Meeting functions as an unequal hierarchy bending over backward to placate the the entitled elements in the office.

And ‘Cooking’, usually infers sumptuousness, however, in this case ’Cooking’ as ‘misappropriation’ and maybe even ‘fraud’ is simply the most DISGUSTING shape shift of the Quaker Faith and its core Integrity Testimony. But, don’t thee worry, Friend. We’ll somehow make misappropriation delectable and appealing, by feeling good about ourselves by giving out all those ‘free lunches’ to all our connected political pal Friends who have the same opinion we do. We can do this with a windswept clear conscience while we gaze out over Lake George from the gazebo with a gentle breeze blowing.


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